I traced sloth-based slander back to a Spanish conquistador called Valdes,

who gave the fist description of a sloth in his encyclopedia of the New World

He said the sloth was the stupidest animal that can be found in the world

I have never seen such an ugly animal or one that is more useless

Tell us what you really think, Valdes

I'd like to have a word about Valdes drawing skills

I mean, what is that?

I've never seen an illustration of a sloth that's more useless

But I mean, on the plus side, he has given the sloth a remarkably humanlike face, and sloths do have remarkably humanlike faces

This sloth I photographed in Costa Rica, I think looks a lot like Ringo Star

But then, sloths do bear an uncanny resemblance to The Beatles

Particularly pleased with Paul, actually, on there

Um.. But like The Beatles, sloths are also extremely successful

They come from an ancient line of mammals, and there were once dozens of species including the giant ground sloth, which was the size of a small elephant

and one of the only animals big enough to eat avocado pits whole and disperse them

So

Some of you have worked it out already

That means that without sloths, there might be no avocado on toast today

leaving hipsters everywhere totally bereft at breakfast